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Look At You!!! Why Looking At Oneself In The Mirror Is A Difficult Task For The Autistic Child! Update Dec. 2005: When it comes to eye contact issues, an issue too many are completely unaware of is that of potential FACE BLINDNESS in persons on the autism spectrum. This is a critical issue that can go a VERY LONG way in explaining why these children prefer to use peripheral vision, have issues with "reading emotions" and "socialization". Please take the time to read this very, very critical information on FACE BLINDNESS! END OF UPDATE As with so much in life, things are not always as they seem. Zachary always turned away when I tried to make him look at himself in the mirror. At first, I had completely dismissed this as a sign of autism although I had recognized the fact that he simply did not like to look at himself in the mirror very from early on... I just didn't see the "why" behind it. I thought he was simply "scared" to see his image there... much as many cultures are afraid to see themselves in the mirror or to see themselves on a picture - believing their "person" or soul has somehow been captured. Normal children, from a very early time on, are usually fascinated with seeing themselves in the mirror. As such, I believe this can truly be an effective manner of screening for "first signs" of autism. It took me a long time to finally see this one for what it truly was... simply another sign of autism manifesting itself. There are several factors that come into play in the simple act of "looking in the mirror" when it comes to the autistic child. First and foremost, the child doesn't understand the "parts" to the "whole". First a mirror appears as just this "object" and then, out of the blue, "something else" appears... another part to the whole... the reflection of oneself... and the autistic child simply doesn't know what to make of this. Also particularly troubling perhaps is the fact that this "thing", the reflection, is a moving object or "thing" within something that just previously was "stationary" or "not moving"... so, you have a "moving thing" within a concrete object. How can that be? Truly, for the autistic child, this is a difficult puzzle to figure out... and without help in understanding this concept, how this is possible, the autistic child will continue to be stressed out by this simple activity... because in this particular activity, the laws of physics themselves seem to be violated. How can a living moving object be captured in something that is "not alive". I came to understand how the inability to look in the mirror could definitely be related to the issue of motion. Much like a street was a "stable object" without the "cars" or the "moving parts", so too was the mirror a "stable object" in and of itself... without a "moving person" within it. Once that "moving part" was added, however, in my opinion, Zachary could no longer understand how this new, - moving part - fit into the whole! Once again, motion appeared to play a part! The same kind of concept applies to the television screen. The difference in terms of stress levels, however, in my opinion lies in the fact that with a television, the child can watch objects that are fascinating to him... objects that keep him occupied and focused on things like circles, triangles, trains, colors, etc. Thus, the objects, objects that have consistency (i.e., a circle is always round, a triangle always has 3 sides, blue is always blue, and red is always red, etc.) themselves become the main focus of interest. They provide consistency and order. That's why certain types of movies/videos are also more interesting than others for these children. With a mirror, however, it is an entirely new ballgame. The "object" in the mirror is not only moving, but somehow, it "moves as I do"... yet another "part" to figure out. This "thing" in the mirror, may be perceived as "following" the autistic child... thereby producing even more frustration and stress. Furthermore, this "object" has no definite shape... it isn't round, triangular... it has a color I may not be able to relate to (not having learned about "skin color", etc.) and it has all these other "parts" that can't be understood, things like "clothing", etc. Finally, there is one issue not that has alluded even me, for a very long time... the fact that this "thing" in the mirror, this entity - even if once understood in terms of color, clothing, etc. - will not be understood until the autistic child understand the concept of "myself" or "my person" first. This explains why even after being able to look in the mirror, or in looking at pictures, for the longest time, Zachary still did not truly understand "who that was" in the mirror or in the picture... that it was him! "Zachary himself" had to be labeled as "Zachary". The "deaf child syndrome" we so often see in autism is, in my opinion, simply a child who does not yet understand that he "too" has a very specific label - a label we call "a name"... a label the autistic child must be specifically taught! Once that label is learned, then the concept of "self" is understood and can be used to help the child cope with daily life! For more on this issue, of labeling the child himself before he can "see himself" in the mirror, see Auditory Issues and why "the deaf child" is but a child who has not been "labeled" - for himself! :o) Again, in order to understand this simple activity of "looking in the mirror", the autistic child, in my opinion, needs to understand all the "parts" to looking in the mirror... including the "part" of "my self". Until this is done, in my opinion, this simple activity will continue to be one quite confusing and stressful for the autistic child. It took me a long time to get Zachary to actually look at himself in the mirror...he still has some issues with it... no doubt still trying to totally understand the concept of how his "self" can be "caught" by this mirror. I have no idea as to how to even begin to explain this one to him, but, as time passes, so too does the stress of this situation since Zachary can at least "see" that he "doesn't stay in the mirror" once he moves away. In helping Zachary with issues of "looking in the mirror", I found using the words: "bye bye" or "all gone" helped with this activity also. I would also tell Zachary: "look, there's Zachary in the mirror"... or I'd ask: "Who is that?" and make sure I answered the question myself if he failed to do so, by saying: "that's Zachary"... to make him see that this "thing" in the mirror was him. Again, for more help with labeling the child himself, see my section on "Auditory Issues" as it relates specifically to the "deaf child". Again, as with so much in autism, I believe the key to helping the autistic child cope and understand their world simply lies in the use of labels, in explanations as to how the "parts" make up the whole - explanations to Break The Code©, in Words To Cope©, in Fractions and Words Of Quantity , in providing positive coping mechanisms and so forth. The keys are always the same! :o) |
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