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Sharing And The Autistic Child A topic often associated with a child's social abilities is that of sharing with others. For a very long time, issues with "sharing" in the autistic child have been seen as "problems with socialization". In reality, however, it is my opinion, that this issue is very much also tied to the autistic child's inability to understand the whole without first understanding the parts that make up the whole. I had often noticed that Zachary was fine with "sharing" food from his plate and putting it in my mouth, or with sharing his lemonade and allowing me to sip some too. His issues with "sharing" were more with things like the sharing of pencils, play dough, or anything else that involves the actual "splitting in parts" of objects, then, Zachary broke down and was unable to "share". I noticed that his issues with "sharing" had nothing to do with whether or not something belonged to "him" verses his sister... they simply had to do with "things" that were being "pulled apart"... in other words, with "sharing" that involved the separation of "parts" from the "whole". To Zachary, all pencils belonged together... as did all play dough... etc. His issues with "sharing" consisted of the making of "different piles" for the same thing. For more on this issue, I encourage parents to read the section on "Odd Behaviors". As such, I now see that the issue is not with his lack of "sharing" but rather with his need for order...and his inability to cope with the "part" of the "whole" being separated from the whole. Sharing involved "creating a part", "taking a part from the whole" and giving it to someone else... and that is something that is just "not doable" for the autistic child... his brain simply won't want to allow that! To the autistic child, "all these things belong together" and should not be "separated"... they are part of a whole. Again, teaching the "in between" situation with sharing is like anything else with autism... the child must see how the parts make up the whole and how it's ok to separate the parts and give some to others. The concept of "fractions" is one I truly believe will help many children to understand how "parts make up a whole" and how those parts can be separated. Words to help the autistic child deal with this issue of "sharing" are found under: Words That Teach Quantity. These will help all parents address a multitude of issues dealing with parts of the entity - the whole. In working this issue, I found play dough helped. I could give Zachary some, and then show him that mom needed some too, to make fun things. I've seen Zachary share crayons, etc. just fine, as long as they were all in the same "container" and we each "took some" from there, and then "put them back where they belonged - in the one container". If, however, I tried to take some of the same objects and "split them up" in separate containers or piles - one for him and one for me - well, that did not go over well at all. Zachary seemed to have no problem sharing objects that were "different" from those he wanted. For example, he was fine with having all the pencils and I could have all the play dough. It was the separation of "like things" that was an issue. So, again, I strongly believe the issue behind "sharing" per se is simply that for autistic children, like things simply "belong together" and that's all there is to it! :o) |
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