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CHAPTER 9
Grieve…but not too long! Then, get determined...and stay focused!
I cried each day for close to ninety days after discovering Zachary had autism. I tried very hard not to cry during the day, but often, I could not hold the tears back. Primarily, I cried at night, as I went to sleep. I allowed myself time to grieve the son I had lost...but at the same time, this was no time to get depressed. I had a son who needed me and so quickly, I resolved to get determined and stay focused to best help Zachary. Even though I cried a great deal in those first ninety days, it was also during those days that our family’s plan of attack began to take form. Fred and I spent the entire month of April 2000 researching autism…from basically 7:00 am to 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. almost each day. Reading breaks were spent feeding the children or caring for their other most basic needs…a bath (they probably got one a week during that month), some hugging, a little playing, etc.
On March 22nd, 2000, I had confirmed for myself Zachary’s problem as I read the DAN article on the Internet, shedding the first of many tears my eyes would shed for him and our family over this condition. Yet, on the following day, on March 23rd, 2000, first thing in the morning, before the pharmacy even opened, I was there, in a parking lot, waiting to buy cod liver oil to help alleviate some of Zachary’s sideway glances. I grieved, yes, but I did not let that grief take over me completely. I had a child that needed help, and for that child, I had to be strong. I fought the sense of depression each day. I would not let autism take another member of my family. I started right away to do something to help Zachary...each day . As Zachary began to make progress, losing his sideway glances, sleeping all night, we inched along. This was a very difficult time, but, like so many parents who had gone through this, or through something worse, I had to get through it. I figured I had one shot at my child’s future. I was not going to make it a “blank”.
For me to defeat my adversary, I needed to be thinking clearly. Depression would not allow me to do that. So, I picked myself up, as did Fred and Anika and we started our plan of attack. I had always told myself during difficult times in my life that, there was always someone better off than me in life, but there was always someone worse off, too…so, I counted my blessings and went from there!
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